|
  |
|
|
When Your Sister Dies
By Melissa Miller of Miller Wellness Group
When Your Sister Dies… a Short Treatise on Mourning
Yes, this is an article about grief. When anyone dies it’s rough, and this article will focus on the death of a sister, a beloved sister. That there are stages to grief is well known, but what people don’t talk about very much anymore is mourning. I’ve discovered that for me, mourning is the more accurate term. “Grief” is a sharp, harsh word starting with a painful sounding consonant. It’s like the days and weeks just after a death, when the loss is acute and the pain is almost palpable.
“Mourning” is softer, deeper, quieter; more suitable to the period when the truth is setting in, when the “firsts” begin: in my case, my first birthday without a call from my sister; the moment that became repeated moments, of wanting to call her with a bit of news; the call to her answering machine so I could hear her voice…the moments of silently crying out, “But she’s my sister!” The sorrow in knowing that "we three girls" are now the two of us, my younger sister and I. Absolutely wonderful, just not three. What’s different about the death of a sister? It’s like a lateral move – someone slips away to the side, out of the group; fabric pulls apart vertically; the one who has known me the longest, other than my parents, is now gone…and now I’m the oldest of the surviving siblings. I don’t want to be the oldest; I don’t want to be tearing apart vertically; I don’t want to know that she’s gone. So how will I move on? I’ll accept each day as it comes; I’ll continue to love my own and my extended family; and when I need to, I’ll remember that my sister has passed away. I’ll look at her pictures – or not; I’ll read the condolence cards again – or not; watch the memorial slide show from a dinner in her honor – or not. Mostly, though, I’ll continue to learn from her as I think about our lives and the wonderful times we had. It wasn’t all perfect, but it was all about loving. What can you do if your sister passes away?
• Grieve, then allow time for mourning
• Talk about your feelings with you family and close
friends, when you’re comfortable
• Attend a grief/bereavement group if you’re more
depressed than seems normal
• Talk with your pastor or other religious leader about
mourning in your faith tradition
• See what you can learn by watching the changes in family
relationships as everyone adjusts
• Turn toward the love – painful as it might be, it’s the
most comforting part of mourning
“And now abide faith, hope, and love, these three; and the greatest of these is Love.”
Corinthians 13:13, NKJV
Melissa Miller,LCSW Miller Wellness Group 800.557.5143 melissa@melissacmiller.com
Options for hope and healing
|
|
 |
|
PLEASE VISIT THE CONTRIBUTOR'S WEBSITE
No reactions yet.
Please login or sign up to rate this intel.
Please login or sign up to add a comment.
The copyright for this content entitled "When Your Sister Dies" has been specified by the contributor as:
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0
Details 
This content may be copied and distributed (but not modified), as long as a) it's for non-commercial use and b) the original author is acknowledged with a link back to the content page.
If you use this content according to the license specified, you must link to the following URL:
http://liss.qondio.com/
|
|
May, 2012
2008
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2009
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2010
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2011
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2012
January, February, March, April, May
|
|
Not a member yet?
Qondio is a powerful network for making it online. If you have a website to
promote, we can help.
Sign up and get in on the action.
|
|
Welcome to Qondio! Discover the awesome power this network can deliver by going to our About page. Or you could skip straight to the Sign Up form.
|
|
