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My Hero
By Melissa Miller
Heroes are generally considered to be iconic figures, recognizable by almost anyone. Heroes can often be identified across cultures by the traits associated with them, although the name of the hero may be different from culture to culture. Another way of thinking about heroes is much more personal, and often much more helpful. “Who is my hero?” is a question we may answer differently at different times of life, and the answer can help shape our personalities and our lives. A well-chosen hero has qualities we admire, and is not necessarily ‘perfect.’ Heroes who struggle with their issues with integrity are often highly respected, and we can learn much from what they do – and don’t do – about their issues. One of my heroes is my grandfather, “Grampa Carlson.” Although he died many years ago, he remains a constant in my life. He suffered adversity - Grampa Carlson was headed toward a career as a concert violinist until he fell through a plate glass window and severed the tendons in one hand. Although crushingly disappointed, his love of church and classical music kept him going. He became a choir director and practice accompanist for his several churches over the years. What was most important to me, though, was that he played the piano for my brother, sisters, and I. He taught us wonderful music, from “Little Orphan Annie” to hymns; and would play snippets of the classics for us sometimes, too. Grampa was always cheerful and kind, patient with this group of 4 grandchildren who would descend upon his house, and very loving. Often I got to sit on his lap in his special chair, and he would read my then-favorite children’s book to me. He made me feel so special that I didn’t even realize he did that for each of us!
That was one of his finest characteristics – when he was with you, he really paid attention. He had a bad hip, and was often in pain, but when we were there, he was ours.
Another trait he had was integrity. He was what in the 1950’s was called “a good man.” He was trusted on his word and a handshake. When I think of Grandpa Carlson these words come to mind: integrity, perseverance, faith, attentiveness, goodness. I’m sure he wasn’t perfect, but he was perfect in my little world. I also think of my Dad – Grampa's only child – who had all of my Grampa’s qualities. I knew my Dad better, so the shine of “hero” wasn’t there – not because he wasn’t deserving of being called a hero, but because for me, heroes are kept at a bit of a distance. My Dad, one of the finest men I’ve ever known, is “my Dad.” His status at the top of the heap of influential men in my life is confirmed. So the qualities I find in a hero were passed from Grampa, to Dad, to my sons – and I chose to marry someone who also embodies those qualities. In my mind, that transmission of positive qualities is the mark of a hero – without necessarily realizing his or her effect, the hero (or heroine) transmits the most life-enhancing traits; exemplifying the idea that we may never know what effect our words or actions have on others – so striving to make it a good effect is important! |
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